ALL I NEED IS A LITTLE APPRECIATION!!

It’s been 8 months of my Leadership at NSS & i m possibly in my last lap as a leader for this ever flourishing & flamboyant organization. NSS has been a alma mater for me, for me NSS has always been my top priority from the day 1 of my leadership, there’s no giving back to NSS which has trained me to be a person of various dimensions, a personality & above all it brought me dignity & respect.

What does it takes to lead a workforce of 250 volunteers? This was the very first question I asked to myself when I took over as a leader in august. What I wondered was, i will organize various events, camps, competitions, awareness programs & we'll win over every hurdle that is thrown as a challenge to us. But it didn’t take me much time to realize that this rosy picture that i was anticipating will turn out to be my greatest failure!!!! Yes i failed! if i have to go by my programme officer Dr.Satish kolte's word then i was the worst leader that NSS ever had!

now that is what i hear after working non stop for more than 7 months, after completing may be more than 350 hours of jostling, head cracking & blood sucking hard work just to make it big.

This is what i receive after organizing NSS foundation day, NAAC display, 10 day residential camp for more than 80 volunteers, blood donation camps, Red Ribbon Club for aids awareness, debate, poster & a host of other events single handedly. Yes i can say that all these events i have organized single handedly & no body can dare to raise any question against that because everyone knows this.

Do u know what’s the most painful part?? That i have to list all this & say it with my own mouth rather than my programme officer. I realize that i made mistakes, I know that i was not able to give NSS as much as i wanted & it also may be possible that i make the worst leader but during all this at any given point of time was my dedication & commitment less??

Did it ever happen that i didn’t give my 100%??

Did i perpetually want to make the show unsuccessful??

I think even my non NSS friends would give me a fitting reply for all those questions. I can bet that this year not even a single event organized by NSS has gone flop.

All these 8 months what I did not receive from my volunteers was their ever important support, I realize this & I know my mistakes & in capabilities but why couldn’t my work got appreciated even once??

Why cannot my Programme officer ( P.O.) appreciate my endurance, my perseverance & my endeavor??

Why my efforts & my struggle went un noticed??

I m so useless?

Was my work so lackluster??

My confidence is dented & to such an extent that now when I go to organize some event I look myself in to the mirror & appreciate myself to gather strength & enthusiasm!!

I don’t want a Noble prize or a Bharat Ratna for what I have done, but I demand for a little appreciation, Appreciation for keeping me going, for my conscience & for my soul which now questions my ability as a leader.

I pray to god that I never back down & keep fighting as I have done till now because now I can only expect him to appreciate me!